Ohhh Pregnancy

I am NOT one of those women who loves being pregnant.

I hate peeing 7 times a night and not being able to get comfortable.  And, of course, when I do get comfortable, baby starts kicking me and I can't sleep anyway.  I hate being so tired and running into things with my belly.  I am not a fan of swelling everywhere- my feet don't appreciate being crammed in my shoes, I miss my wedding ring, and I hate how my nose grows like crazy.  Waking up in the middle of the night and having to munch on pretzels to subdue the nausea isn't my idea of a good time, and heartburn is miserable.

hello HUGE belly!

check out those swollen feet!

However, as much as I loathe being pregnant, I am SO grateful to be able to have children!

When Andrew and I got married, we decided we'd wait for 2 years and then start our family.  However, 4 months after we said "I do," I got a very strong impression that there was a little child waiting to join us and that we needed to start our family NOW.  I talked to Andrew about it, hesitantly, and he (also hesitantly) agreed that was a good idea.  We prayed together and went to the temple (a very sacred place to us where we feel closest to God) to think about such a big decision.  We both felt strongly that it was time.

Yikes.  I really didn't want to get pregnant.  In fact, I prayed every night for the first 6 months or so that we wouldn't have a baby yet.  Then my heart softened and for the next few months I prayed that we'd have a baby when the time was right.  After 10 or 12 months, I started to get a little worried that we might not be able to have kids.  Why was it taking so long??  When we hit the year mark, I started praying that I would get pregnant and told Heavenly Father how much I wanted to have children.

As soon as we had been trying for a baby for a year, I made an appointment with my doctor to discuss infertility.  My doctor wasn't that impressive, but Andrew's doctor was so great that I started seeing him as well.  I feel like we saw him SO much, but he was so nice and helpful that I didn't mind all the medications, blood work, and ideas he had for us.

We started to discuss the possibility of adoption, and I started to (kind of) accept the fact that we might not be able to have children of our own.  The infertility care was so good at BYU for such a great price.   We knew we wouldn't be able to afford to continue with the medical help once we left Provo.  The last month we were there, the doctors at the BYU Health Center decided they would do everything possible to give us the best chance of getting pregnant that month.  I was on a handful of medications, had multiple ultrasounds, and was given shots.  The last week we lived in Utah, we did artificial insemination.  I remember walking out of that appointment with so much hope, but getting negative pregnancy tests for the past 18 months was hard!

We left a week later to move to Chicago for the summer, where Andrew completed an internship for Abbott.  The doctors told us exactly what day I could take an accurate pregnancy test, and I can still remember the anticipation of that day 2.5 years later.  We stopped at a WalMart in Wyoming on our move across the country for an extra pregnancy test the night before the big "testing day."  The lady who rung us up said with so much sympathy, "I'm sure you're not pregnant."  I smiled and said "probably not," but she was wrong- I wanted a positive test SO bad!

I took the two tests I had the next morning in our hotel room.  The first test showed the SLIGHTEST positive (maybe, it was hard to tell), and the other came back invalid!  Ahhh!  What are the odds?  So we hurried back to WalMart, where I bought 4 additional tests.  I went and peed on all 4 of them in a bathroom stall at the store.  Classy.  I know.

I wrapped the peed on tests up in a plastic WalMart bag, then Andrew and I went to the car to see our fate.  We opened them up in the parking lot, with all the wordly possessions we owned stuffed in our little Mazda3.  Sure enough, all of them were positive!  I thought I would dance and jump for joy and cry when I finally got that positive test, but I was in such shock that I couldn't believe it!  I called my sister to tell her, and almost didn't want to say I was pregnant out loud because it just didn't seem like it could be true!  I'm sure she was confused why I didn't sound happier.

But sure enough, 8 months later, Jake joined our family!  I am SO grateful for that little boy!  He is such a stinker sometimes, but I prayed and prayed for him, and I love him like crazy.  I know he's a gift from God.  As awful as pregnancy, childbirth, and the recovery seemed, he was SO, SO worth it!

When he was just less than a year old, we decided we wanted to try for #2.  Surely it'd take at least a year to get pregnant, right?  WRONG!  Apparently Jake set things straight in my body, and I was pregnant before I knew it!

mini golfing at 38 weeks (Andrew pulled my sunk shots out of the whole, thank goodness!)

January 23rd, less than a month after Jake's first birthday, I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast.  Then I ate half a can of olives.  Forcing myself to not finish the can, I wondered if I was pregnant!?!  Sure enough, all 7 zillion tests I took came back positive.  I realize 7 zillion is an exaggeration, but not by as much as one might think.  It was closer to 20.  But now, I'm at week 39 and excited for our baby girl to join us!!  As much as I dislike being pregnant and don't look forward to the recovery from getting her out, I am SO thankful for this little girl being sent to us from heaven!  What a blessing it is to be a mom!!  I hope Jake finds her to be a blessing as well :)  At this point, the poor kid has NO idea what's coming!

37 weeks and full-term

It is so clear to me that Jake and this baby girl are gifts from God.  Remember how we planned to get pregnant 2 years after our wedding?  Sure enough, I got the positive pregnancy test within a week of our 2-year anniversary!  Coincidence?  Definitely not.

I know that God watches over us.  I am grateful for the experience we had to rely on Him more than we otherwise would have through our infertility.  Also, because of that experience, Andrew and I plan to have foster children when our own kids are old enough.  I also have so much more empathy for those who are going through a hard time.  It's not easy to go through trials, but God knows what's best for us and I am 100% confident (which is a strong statement, as I'm married to a statistician!) that God is with each of us as we go through hard times.  Lean on Him!!